contact us

Use the form on the right to contact us.

We'll answer as fast as we can, but please be patient as we're relying on public wifi to keep in touch!

         

123 Street Avenue, City Town, 99999

(123) 555-6789

email@address.com

 

You can set your address, phone number, email and site description in the settings tab.
Link to read me page with more information.

20240106_153801.jpg

blog

all but the cats write here ... to remember, to share, to mumble, to shout ... follow along by RSS or email if you like.

Filtering by Category: photos galore

Chasing Waterfalls and Shedding Past Promises

michael

Tina wanted a shed.  This was important.  There were a lot of things to be put in a shed.  There used to be a shed in the back yard, when she and Ken moved in some 20 years ago, but it had rotted away. 

When we had supper at Chipotle with them almost 2 years ago, we told them our newly formed plan to travel the country with tools and help people out.  I believe they were the first ones we told.  They had looked at each other, “Oh!” Their eyebrows were up, “We have a shed,” Ken said.  “In the garage,” Tina said.  “That needs put together,” they said together, smiling big smiles.

“Yes,” we said, “That is the kind of project we would enjoy.”

“And …” Tina listed off about 5 other projects to be done.  “There’s also …” Ken listed another 5.

IMG_4283.JPG

We told them it might be awhile before we got our plan rolling, but they were definitely on our list of stops, never suspecting they’d be our second.

They told us about their store.  It was moving.  A few years before, Ken and Tina quit their jobs and started a scrapbooking store called Café Crop.  Business had been scant.  The location was not good and the landlord was not cooperative.  They were just about to sign on a new location but it would be stepping out on faith.  It’d take everything they had.  For us it was great to see them doing something together.  Something life-consuming.  That was right where Bethany and I wanted to be; eyes glowing, scared to death.  It was inspiring.

We pulled up to their driveway 2 years later.  The pouring rain had just stopped, and there they were; waving and smiling.  Ken guided me in, we unhitched, and spent the evening reminiscing on the back lawn.  Ken got out his wiffle-balls and gave the kids a golf lesson.  That night we slept in the camper.

Tina had emailed us a week before to say moving the business and getting it running had occupied most of their time and the shed was still a project waiting to happen.  We were gung-ho to start in the morning.  Monday.

There was a good thunderstorm right before dawn.  The rain had quit by the time breakfast was over.  Tina went to work at Café Crop.  We staked off an 8’ x 12’ footprint of the shed and began removing the ground cover and bushes.  It was muddy work.  It began to rain again.  We looked like mud-wrestlers.  It began to pour and we could hardly stand up.  The clay in the soil was very slick.  We decided to wait for the rain to stop.  “Can we open up the shed kit, while we wait?” Bethany asked.

“Well … that might be hard,” Ken said, “why don’t you come look at it.”  We followed him to the garage and stood dripping with amazement in the doorway.  “That’s a corner of it, right there.” He pointed towards the bottom of a vast heaping of boxes, tools and equipment.  “We’d have to move the stuff off it,” he lamented.

“But,” said Bethany, walking back and forth in the 4 foot path cleared to the fridge, peering on tiptoe into the garage, “there’s nowhere to put it!”

“If it stops raining, we can move it to the driveway.” Ken suggested.

“Hang on.”  Bethany was still pacing.  Then with great formality she turned to Ken and said “Ken, may I have permission to organize your garage?”

“Sure,” said Ken, “go to town!”

“OK.” Said Bethany “Here’s what we’re going to do.  Open the awning on the camper.  All the big tools, mowers and blowers and anything that goes in the shed goes in the driveway under the awning …”  And so it began.  8 hours of hefting, consolidating, stacking, and shifting all under Bethany’s command.  By the time Tina came home, there were swept paths to every part of the garage and the shed lay fully and circumnavigably exposed.  Later in the week when Tina was hounding Ken to take out the garbage, he said “Sheesh!  You’re almost as bad a slave-driver as Bethany!”

That evening, it began to rain in earnest.  It rained all night.  By morning, it was thinning.  “We’ve got a nice lake in the yard!” Tina said brightly, as she left for work.

We went outside to look.  Sure enough, right where the shed was to go, stood a three to four inch lake.  “Hmmm,” I said, “this appears to be the low spot in the yard.”

“That would explain why the last shed rotted away,” Ken mused.  We considered building it up with gravel, but decided the water would still sit on the clay under the gravel.  We discussed drainage this way and that way for half an hour, before Ken, arms akimbo, said “Wait a minute!  I have an idea!  Now, this might sound crazy, but 18 years ago I promised Tina a pond … “ Bethany and I exchanged worried glances.  “I actually promised it in writing,” Ken confided.  “What if we dug a pond lower than the foundation, and the water could drain into it.”

 “Well,” I said slowly, “That WOULD give us the dirt to raise the shed foundation.”  We began to talk about what a pond would involve.  Bethany and I got some garden hose and made a pond shape in the grass.

“I just had another idea.”  We looked up.  Ken’s arms were akimbo.  “What if we made a waterfall with a stream that fed into the pond!  It could start there behind the shed and flow around this way!”

“Um, Ken,” I said tentatively, “We’re only going to be here till Saturday.  I don’t think we can get a pond, a waterfall AND a shed done by then.”

“You’d have to agree, though, that a waterfall and stream would look REALLY nice, and if I’m going to make a pond for Tina I want to do it right.  Because, see, what I’m really imagining is sitting over here and HEARING the splashing of water.”  I looked at Bethany and could see in her eyes that she thought it was CRAZY but that she was also half convinced.  The opportunity to play with rocks was a strong lure.

“Well,” I said, “If you’re ok with doing the shed yourself, I’m game to make a waterfall.”

Ken called Tina and told her the plan to make a pond with a splashing waterfall.  She says “OK,” Ken announced.

Ken and I mapped out the pond and stream with electric dog fence flags (did I mention they have poodles?)  We began to dig, while Bethany took her Vorpal Blade and began hacking underbrush out of what Tina called the Back 40.  Douglas and Fynn pitched in hauling tarps of weeds and breaking clods of clay.  Funny thing about clay is, the more that sticks to your shoes, the more sticks to your shoes.  Eventually we were digging in platforms too heavy to lift.  I opted to dig barefoot at this point which was pure delight to the toes. 

We dug down two feet and threw the clay in the lake/foundation.  The boys squished it flat.  The hole dug, Ken and I went to Lowes to get a liner, a pump, some hose and a wee impulse-buy fountain. 

By the time the liner was in and the pond filled, we’d missed Tuesday night bingo at Chick-fil-a, a tradition of Ken and Tina’s.  Instead, we sat on the patio enjoying a jar of Knoxville strawberry hooch to the tinkling of the wee fountain.

We’ve known Ken and Tina since way back.  Back in the days we frequented the same bible camps; back before any of us were married.  Back when love and theosophy swam unblinking wide-eyed circles in our pools of innocence.  Tina grew up near Bethany and they got along like sisters.  I was fast friends with Tina’s brother.  My brother was good friends with Ken.  My sister was BFF with Bethany’s sister.  When Ken and Tina began dating, their names became synonymous with “Moon-eyed couple,” and after a year or two it was “Couple-who-won’t-quit.”  As a 14-year-old I was fascinated.  I would splay my angst-ridden soul before each of them late into the nights, hoping their experience might gain me some foothold on the ladder of love. 

And here I was again nearly 25 years later, fascinated by their love language.  Ken was pleased as punch that he was finally fulfilling his pond promise, and Tina would not give him the satisfaction of her appreciation until she had a shed. 

Wednesday, we laid gravel on the foundation clay, and rolled it flat with a concrete roller the neighbor kindly offered.  Bethany and Ken went to get rock, while I made the stream bed and the boys chased each other around the yard with sticks they were supposedly bagging.  The cats wandered the neighborhood making friends.  We unloaded rocks, tested the stream and Ken and I left to get sand hogs for building up breached walls.  It was looking like the pump was a little too strong for the job. 

Thursday we drained the pond and cleaned it.  Some rocks we put in had muddied the water.  By afternoon we were testing the waterfall.  It was TERRIBLE.  The pump was too strong, water was coming out everywhere.  So we talked drainage this way and that way.  I thought we needed more stone for the waterfall. 

“Wait a minute.”  Ken’s elbows were out.  “I just had an idea!”  Our eyes were wide.  “If I bought a diverter we could split the line and regulate the flow to make the waterfall the right pressure.”

“And the second hose would go … back into the pond?” I asked hopefully.

“Over a SECOND waterfall, right here!” He pointed triumphantly.  I was about to say look, we don’t even know if we can build ONE working waterfall when Bethany jumped on board.

“That COULD work,” she looked at my worry, “We only need one flat stone.  It would be a small stream,” she assured me.

We spent the rest of the day cleaning stones, making sand hogs, and perfecting the flow of everything but the waterfall.  That night Bethany said to me “Ken has work away from the house till noon, and we need him to get the rest of the stone.  Let’s open the shed kit and see if we can get the base laid in the morning.  It will feel a lot better if we at least have the shed started before we leave.”  I whole-heartedly agreed.

So by noon on Friday we had the floor laid and the kids got to hammer nails.  Whee!  Ken returned pleasantly surprised, and we went out for stone.  He hadn’t been able to find a diverter.  By 6:00 pm we had stacked and restacked the waterfall many times to no avail.  It was a sloppy mess.

Ken had to take a load of grilled chicken to Café Crop and we sat down to eat some of the same.  It was really good.  We looked at going back to the waterfall.  Bethany looked like the waterfall was about to come out of her eyes.  She was spent.  I was out of ideas.  We prayed.  “Hey God, we really would like to be in Chicago for Father’s day.  Give us an idea for this waterfall, like, right now.”

We crouched by the waterfall.  Bethany lifted a stone, languidly, and set it back down.  I realized this one was on me to see through.  And then it came to me.  “OK.”  I said.  “Here’s what we’re going to do.  We’ll cut a big piece of liner, lift up the whole inner stone stack and wrap it from underneath till the liner comes above the top cascade stone, and all water exits towards the stream.”

And that was it.  I’m sure any fountain builder would look at me and say “Duh!”  Not only did it work to contain the water, we no longer needed a diverter, the pressure was fine.  With renewed energy we set to finishing by dark, when Tina came home.

Ken was bristling with excitement to show Tina the finished pond and waterfall.  Tina was bristly.  She spent 10 minutes in the kitchen talking to Bethany about her day while Ken opened and closed the patio door, saying “Can you hear that?”  Eventually we all filed outside.  Tina made a beeline for the Back 40 and began questioning Bethany about everything she’d removed.  Ken was nearly beside himself with impatience.   After another 10 minutes she sauntered over to the pond where Ken was basking in the babbling sound of the waterfall.  “What do you think?!”  Ken asked proudly. 

“It’s nice,” Tina said minimally.

This was certainly not the effusion Ken was hoping for.  He climbed on to the shed base “AND,” he spread his arms wide, “we have a shed floor!”

“Yes, but no shed,” Tina pointed out. 

“But … “ Ken was reeling.  This was so anticlimactic, it was ludicrous.  “Just listen to the waterfall!” he pleaded.  Bethany tried to help by pointing out some of the features and how we had made them.  Tina engaged her coolly, but it was clear she had taken a stance and was not going to be budged.  Ken came and stood by me.  His mind was in full gear.  He still had one card up his sleeve, if he played it right.  “Does anyone in your family like pancakes?” he asked innocently.

“Oh my, Yes!” I exclaimed.  “Bethany can’t eat gluten, but the rest of us can’t say no.”

“Well, there’s a Fireman’s pancake breakfast tomorrow morning I’d like to take you guys to.  We’d have to leave at like 6:30, but it’s all you can eat and they let you climb in the fire trucks.”

“Do they have sausage?”   Bethany abandoned her and Tina’s pond-side chat. 

“Oh, yes!” Tina joined.  “Stacks of it!”

“Why don’t we invite Lisa and Shaun?”  Ken suggested idly to Tina.

Lisa helps at Café Crop and has been invaluable to Ken and Tina.  Her husband Shaun is a veteran handyman with a lot of tools.  He helped build out the new Café.  I was told earlier in the week that he had offered some time ago to help Ken build the shed but I didn’t make the connection until I met him over pancakes the next morning.

Our plan was to go to Café Crop around 11:00 am and see Tina in her element, which we hadn’t gotten to do all week.  We were hoping maybe to try a Family Drawing with her, and get on the road by 3:00 pm.  As far as work was concerned, we were done, finished.  Kaput.

“How many pancakes?”  The unsmiling senior lady asked the man in line ahead of me.

“Three.”  She robotically moved the tongs to the mountain of pancakes.

“How many pancakes?”  She asked his daughter in the same monotone.

“Two, please.”  The tongs went for two.

“How many pancakes?”  She asked me flatly.

“Twenty,” I said.  The tongs moved automatically, then stopped. 

She gave me a big grin.  I was still chuckling over this small victory when Shaun joined me walking back to the table.

“S-so when do you want to s-start on the shed?”  Shaun had a slight stutter and eyes glowing with enthusiasm.  “I’ve got a truck f-full of tools.  I’ve got a n-nail gun.  I can start right after we eat.”  I suddenly realized how Ken had orchestrated this.  I smiled.

“Ken DID tell you we were leaving today?” I asked, sitting down by Bethany.

“What?  N-no!  What time are you leaving?”

“3 o-clock.”  Bethany’s horror-stricken face said she realized what we were discussing. 

“Well, we could g-get the walls up by then.”

I looked at Bethany.  Don’t-you-dare lasers were shooting from her eyes.  “We’ve also promised Tina we’d come to Café Crop at 11:00.”  I glanced at Ken who was studiously eating his pancakes. 

“We b-better get s-started soon then!” Shaun said, grinning.  Shaun’s drive to work had been hinted at before but facing it head-on I had no resistance.  I gave Bethany a pleading look.  She too was crumbling under Shaun’s confidence and excitement. 

“We HAVE to leave at 11:00,” she conceded.

After the kids toured the trucks, we headed back to Ken’s.

MAN could Shaun work!  The walls flew together and were ready to be put up by 11:00.  Bethany called Tina and put off our arrival till 1:00.  By 12:30, we had the walls up and were ready to start the roof.  I said, “You boys are on your own” to Ken and Shaun, and we headed off to Café Crop.

“I see you got the walls up!” Tina had received a text from Ken. 

“Yeah!”  We were exhausted and happy.

Now I don’t know much about scrapbooking, but from what I could tell, this was scrapbooking heaven.  One half of the store was dedicated to merchandise.  Hundreds of patterned paper stacks, rubber stamps of every kind, assortments of stickers, fringes, tassels, ribbons, buttons, and best of all baskets of found objects like scrabble tiles, sea shells, and small toys.  (Fynn picked out what looked like an old clasp and immediately had built an entire medieval costume in his mind.)

The other half of the store was spacious work tables surrounded by comfy chairs, a third of which were filled by ladies working on projects and chit-chatting animatedly.  The atmosphere was very conducive to creativity.  There was a side counter laid out with muffins and lunch meats and snacks, which we gladly dug into before setting up for family drawing.  Had I any mental energy left from a week of hard work I would have designed a drawing that incorporated some of the cool stuff from the store, but I opted to repeat an older drawing, modified slightly for our time constraints.  We had a great time. 

As we left, Tina let her composure melt, hugging us with tears streaming.  “Thanks guys!  You got more done in a week than we could have in a year!”  And that felt SO GOOD! 

We drove back to where Ken and Shaun had the rafters half installed, hooked up the camper, hugged Ken goodbye, hugged Shaun goodbye, and headed for one night alone together at a campsite with direct sewer hookup.  The next day we’d be in Chicago, where at least 5 people had projects waiting. 

subscribe via RSS or e-mail

> archive of older posts here <

Face Off

fynn

Face Off is a contest where people put makeup on people and go in front of judges to see who has the best makeup.  And they don't just use eyeliner and lipstick, they use professional special effects makeup like airbrushes and fabrications and different clothes.  In the building they have hundreds and hundreds of different things that you might need.  So that's what we did, and we did a mini one.

This is us planning and getting ready to do Face Off tomorrow.  We had two teams.  The first team was me, my dad, and Bobby.  Team number two was Douglas, Keren, and my mom.  So we planned the first day, and worked the next day.  In planning, we had 2.5 hours, and the same for working.

And the way we came up with our characters, we had a list of different elements and jobs, and numbers next to them.  The teams took turns rolling dice.  You would roll twice for the elements, and once for the jobs.  The different elements that we had were dirt, lava, water, and metal.  Our team got dirt and metal.  The other team got lava and dirt.  And for the jobs, we did the same.  Our team got a postal worker, and the other team got an engineer.

And at the judging time, what we would get judged by ... we had to have a back story, and how the character looks, and how the elements were incorporated. 

Our backstory for what we were putting on our character was that the earth had gotten mostly destroyed, and there were small chunks left with people on it.  Our character was a giant postal worker that is slowly terraforming the moon, and making it into dirt, and all the silver and copper in the moon are going into his arms.  And also he has the moon for his head.  And he has the moon for his head.  He has the moon for his head. 

And on the bits of the earth there is a rumor traveling around that the EARTH BRAIN MOON MAN is going to come back and remake the earth.  Bobby was our model.

The other team's idea was to have siamese twins, one was immune to fire and lava, the other was made of dirt.  They were chemical engineers and were exploring in volcanoes trying to find the fountain of youth.  Douglas was dirt and my mom was lava.

My mom partway through being painted.&nbsp; The red is lava and the black shapes are going to be crusty lava.&nbsp; The red was grease paint and acrylic paint and red sharpie marker.&nbsp;

My mom partway through being painted.  The red is lava and the black shapes are going to be crusty lava.  The red was grease paint and acrylic paint and red sharpie marker. 

We were allowed to use anything in the house.  And we only had a few supplies of makeup and stuff.

Our model before he put on makeup.

Our model before he put on makeup.

Douglas being made, at the age of one minute.&nbsp; And the vines on his arm are real.

Douglas being made, at the age of one minute.  And the vines on his arm are real.

OUR TEAM's FINISHED MODEL

Earth Brain Moon Man

Inside his head is the terraforming of the moon turning into dirt for the earth.  We made the dirt out of grinding up styrofoam bits, then pouring in paint.

team two's finished model

judging

Our judges were Opa and GramGram, and we were judging on skype.  They judged us by making a list of three categories which were Backstory, Makeup, and Incorporation of Elements.  Each team got a different amount of points in each category.

Waiting for the judges

Waiting for the judges

This is the end of the Face Off and the winning team is ...

Team Number Two!

I liked the Face Off thing and I would want to do it again, and it was my idea to do it.  Most of the people didn't want to do it at first, but we all had fun.

subscribe via RSS or e-mail

> archive of older posts here <

bits and pieces

bethany

been awhile since i posted, and i don't have too much to say as we're still chewing on things and pondering things and piecing bits of work and study and conversation and projects together into a week and then another week and then i realize that it's been a month and ... the days do march, don't they?  so here's a small wander through my pics since i last posted.

IMG_1730.JPG

we visited this lovely couple in march, after first meeting them at a health expo in january.  don and patty run a place called the Well Being Conference Center up in Tazewell TN.  they've built it entirely themselves in the last 6 years or so, and as their vision of having a place in the woods where people can get together and talk and learn and play is somewhat related to our goal (and they're actually doing it!) we thought we'd pay them a visit and get a tour and a reality check and maybe some wisdom, along with the views. 

they delivered all that, and more, and were most delightfully gracious hosts who gave thoughtful answers to my many questions, and asked some great questions of their own.  a great day out.

more recently, we spent Easter with friends at their family's lake house, and had a delightful day playing with boats and bows and arrows and jelly-bean laying chickens, and chatting in the sun.  another welcome break.

spring has hit fully and properly here, with storms (ahhh i've missed thunder and lightning!), dogwoods, azaleas, irises, and even an 80 degree day or two.  we were back to three wool blankets in the camper two nights ago though, so it's not all that consistently warm yet.

a few times lately i've been up near sunrise ... shocker to many, i know ...  and after trotting in the house to the bathroom i've grabbed my camera and gone prowling.  it's a magical hour, and almost enough to make me get up earlier on a consistent basis.  the key word being almost.

i've had some pretty depressed days, which somewhat accounts for the lack of words.  i miss being creative in my own right, honestly.  all the work of starting a new venture and working on documenting it, making it happen, and figuring out how to finance it while on the road via freelancing and creating new stuff to sell ... i haven't prioritized making stuff that i just plain like to make, that has nothing to do with heartLOOSE.  not sure where or how to make that happen, but taking pics helps, and talking to cool new people helps too.

which i got to do a couple weekends ago, when the boys put on a lemonade stand during the neighborhood-wide yard sale. 

keren made cookies, the boys made lemonade ... and actually sold more than they drank ... a surprisingly successful venture!  fynn's "lemonade dance", performed while running alongside approaching vehicles, likely had something to do with that.  so did Douglas' steadiness in sitting in the back of the truck for hours while Fynn ran around shopping at the yard sales and hanging with his friend C down the road. 

i went on a long wander with Fynn at one point, and found, to my great delight, a trio of lovely rotten kids selling their odds-and-ends while chatting and eating their breakfast in the sun.  two were sisters, two were neighbors, and all were my kind of ladies.  i bought a candle holder just to have an excuse to hang around, and could have sat there all afternoon.  full of delight and wonder and questions and happiness ... they reminded me much of my Grambie and how much i've missed her and her voice and hands and very warm lap.  i was so glad to find them.  cool new people for sure.

earlier this week we had a two-evening long event which was designed and orchestrated by Fynn, and as he's tasked with blogging about it, I won't do more than share the pic above of one team's prep area.  it was way more fun than i expected it to be :).

today we went downtown hoping to catch the farmer's market before it closed up for the day, and after wondering why the parking was so scarce and some roads were closed off ... we found that it was the Rossini festival with food carts and vendors galore, opera being sung, swords being swung, and nary a green vegetable or fresh flower in sight.  oops.

we spent part of the market budget on street food (ugh) but had a jolly time and got to talk to some interesting folks, and see some cool sights.  fynn even got to try on some real chain mail!

we spent a long time at one glassworks place, and michael modeled one of their eyeball pendants quite handsomely, don't you think?

we found Art Alley, which was a block-long stretch of graffiti/art work, and a great way to avoid a stretch of food tents and crowds when i got a little tired of them.

IMG_2614.JPG

when we walked back to the car at the end of the afternoon, i laughed to myself ...

... the arch we'd come under 3 hours earlier was now struggling at half-mast, dragged down by deflated balloon tails and the ravages of increasingly gusty winds.  i felt a kinship with it, like it was a rather silly but apt expression of my recent moods.  afloat, but tattered.  i'll take it. 

as my SIL called to remind me the other day, we did get a truck, and we did get a camper, and we are on the road, even if it's not going the way we expected.  true, that.  and a welcome reminder. 

IMG_2448.jpg

onward ...

subscribe via RSS or e-mail

> archive of older posts here <

Chalk Softly

michael

Things take time here in Knoxville, so I wasn’t surprised it took Event Services four days to call me back.  Lorraine, with whom I spoke, seemed somewhat taken aback when I answered.  This, upon reflection, was because the voice mail I had left was in my best southern drawl, very unlike the one speaking with her.  She told me no, I could not sell my portraits in Market Square downtown, but I could draw for donations, in which case I would be considered a “busker” and would not need a permit.  Buskers are welcome anywhere there is not an Event so long as foot traffic is unimpeded.  “It’s strange,” she said “we don’t have ANY portrait artists.”

“Maybe,” I suggested, “Artists don’t like to give their work away for free.”  This was not MY feeling, however, I was stoked.  The police, who directed me to Event Services, had led me to believe I wouldn’t be able to draw at all.  Drawing for donations is something I love.  It relieves the pressure of meeting expectations and places the value judgment of your artwork in the hands of your subject and their conscience.  You never know what you’re going to get, but what you get is always genuine.  And getting anything sure beats nothing.

The next day we packed a lunch, piled in the truck, and headed downtown for the Chalk Walk at Market Square.  We had been to a Chalk Walk in Raleigh, NC about a year ago and loved it.  This would be a great way to scope the ropes for setting up while enjoying a gorgeous day out looking at art. 

The sky was blue.  The dogwoods were blooming.  We had enough diesel to get there and back.  The shoestrings we ate for breakfast were sitting well.  We found the free parking garage and just as we were getting out of the truck, Bethany says “OH NO!”  She’s staring at her phone.

“What is it!?” the boys and I say in unison.

“They’re trying to take the storage fee out of the wrong bank account; the SAME ONE that bounced it four days ago!”  This was Bad News.  Bethany puts so much time and care into juggling our four accounts that something going wrong is nearly unimaginable.  Going wrong twice is a show-stopper.  It was that stomach-dropping horror when a deer leaps out and you can’t stop the car.  Time slowed down.  I tried to breathe in the green spring air, but it was sallow and thick with despair. Chalk Walk would be the funeral procession of our happiness.

Bethany was seething hot angry tears, staring at her phone and stamping her foot some fifteen feet away.  Douglas and I stared at each other wide-eyed and frozen until Fynn, blithely unaware that the world was ending, began asking trivial questions.  “What’s that pipe for?  How tall do you think most High Top vehicles are?  We’re a High Top, right, because we parked in the High Top parking?”

We both turned to Fynn.  “Fynn, no.  This isn’t a good time to-“   THUMP!  Bethany was beside us again slapping the truck.  Matilda took it.

“There’s NOTHING we can do!  I BEGGED and got the fee waived LAST time.  They’re not going to wave it AGAIN!  I don’t even know WHY PayPal took it out of this account.  I RESET the defaults!  There’s NO STINKING WAY we can afford this!”

From some remote place, I heard my voice saying “I think we need to call the banks Right Now and see if there’s ANYthing to be done.  We’ll never enjoy this day unless we do.”

“Yeah. OK.” Bethany said, knowing she would be the one making the call, “But first we find a bench and we eat.”  We headed out of the garage in silence.  We made it half a block.

“Hey, Mom?”

“What, Fynn.”  Steel and Ice.

“Why does that sign say-“

“Fynn.”  I interrupted, “Don’t talk to Mom right now.  Walk with me."  We trudged uphill toward Market Square, the bright sunlight dimly penetrating our dark cloud.  I strode ahead, forcing Fynn to trot, as I quietly answered his continuous stream of questions.  I saw grass between buildings ahead.

“Why are we crossing the street?”

“Because there will be benches.” I pointed.  And there were.  We sat.  We prayed.  Bethany called PayPal.  We ate.  Bethany called Citibank.  I kept the boys occupied.  The grassy area was a nice little spot lined with benches, trees, and a few sculptures.  It just happened to be the one my sister had told me would be perfect for drawing portraits in.  Through the trees we could see people milling about the Chalk Walk.  After half an hour, Bethany resurfaced, triumphant.

“I didn’t realize that PayPal has a separate account for debits which is how storage is paid and that comes straight out of Citibank not 360 or TVA and the guy at Citi waived the fee but said this was the last time as long as we get the money in there by Tuesday which gives us three days but of course PayPal may have already taken out a fee and storage will likely slap us with a bounced check fee which means we’ll need to find 40 more from SOMEwhere to put in but for now the disaster won’t snowball, thank you God!”

Yes.  And thank you Bethany.  The sun was out.

Years ago, when we would hit hard times in Brooklyn, I would tell Bethany that she was overreacting.  These were merely circumstances.  Anger wasn’t going to fix anything.  This did a lot of good.  Like gasoline to fire.  The smoldering cloud of gloom would last for days, weeks, even months, and I would do anything to get away.  Hide.  I wasn’t going to let my Don’t-Worry-be-Happy get sucked into that vortex, so I would go to my studio or crawl in a bottle leaving her alone with the anger and despair.  It took me far too long to realize these were her Feelings, not enemies, and she needed me there feeling her feel her Feelings.  Not cringing or judging or attacking, just being there.

It’s hard.  It’s suffocating.  But, man, has it changed things.  I’ve learned that her anger was not because I’d saddled her with the financial responsibility but because the financial situation had gotten out of her control and there was nothing she could do about it.  “Ohhh…” you say, nodding sagely, “she’s got Control Issues …”  Shut Up.  She’s damn good at what she does and she already knows what her issues are.  I’ve also learned that what I thought was despair over our circumstances was despair that I would be remote and Absent.  Again.  That’s heart-rending.  But now I’m getting an inkling of where this could go.  The cords I’m not severing from my heart to hers go both ways, and the commitment I thought I was lacking from Bethany is now pouring into my heart through those same cords.  So, if she’s angry, I’m going to be there for every terrifying minute of it.

The Chalk Walk was a lot of chalk drawings, the more of which you looked at, the more you wanted to do one yourself.  At least that’s how Fynn and I were affected.  I really liked the shark one. 

This lady won last year …

This one was done by a grade-schooler ...

This girl did beautiful work. I don't know if she ever finished.

Beer on the moon!  This one looked even better once the sky was black, and full of stars.

IMG_2173.JPG

Halfway through, Fynn pointed out the free-for-all section in the central plaza.  Lots of kids were drawing.  He began asking to go and draw about every three minutes.  “Let’s just look at everything first, and then we’ll see,” Bethany or I would respond.  As we were hot and the crowds were wearing down our patience, we moved through the second half faster and faster.

A table on the edge of the free-for-all area was selling t-shirts and boxes of chalk.  They also had a box of leftover chalks from those who had finished their drawings.  It wasn’t clear if these were for sale or free for the using, so we sent Fynn to ask, figuring he had the best chance of charming free ones from the lady.  Fynn returned with three chalks; white, lavender, and yellow.  “Dad, are you coming?”  Of course I was.

Douglas and Bethany chose to relax in the shade while Fynn and I found a spot he could draw.  “Dad, are you drawing?”  He asked hopefully.

“Well, are these all the colors you could get?”  Yellow, white, and lavender is a very limited palette, especially drawing with chalk.

“No, there’s a whole bunch in the box.”  Bless him.  He was only being polite, taking three.

“I’ll be back,” I said, and went and picked out one of every color I could find. 

We had fun.

Right before we left, the UT physics club had set up a table of things they had drug out of the lab and were doing demonstrations and soliciting donations.  What a bunch of geeks!  Douglas fell right to talking with them as if he wasn’t introverted at all, and Fynn nearly dove head first into the bowl of liquid nitrogen. They geeked hard for 15 minutes and even made donations from their own wallets as we left.  I looked around.  Tomorrow I would come back and I would work for donations.

Douglas pointed out in the truck that Fynn’s knife was the most potentially violent drawing in the whole Chalk Walk.  “At least there wasn’t blood on it,” I said, “Though the drawing of Galactus showed him destroying the earth.”

“Even that,” Bethany said, “didn’t evoke the same kind of danger.  There was a gentleness to everything there.”

“Yeah.” I said.  “It crossed my mind to have him draw some chopped carrots."

subscribe via RSS or e-mail

> archive of older posts here <

Bobby's Birthday

fynn

It's Bobby's birthday and we're having a medieval-themed birthday and we're decorating it with medieval things.  This is Bobby sitting at the throne at the start of the meal.

This is the Queen of the Castle of Stepp smiling insanely.

Douglas, the Wizard of Barnacle, with his staff glowing and exploding. 

I was Fynn, Knight of Barnacle, with a shiny-tipped sword.

The world's most insane court jester, 90 years old, who hunts peacocks.

The King before the meal, without his crown, in front of a present (a painting).

At the meal, we got a menu at the start with lots of items from a king's court.  And there was three different courses, we would choose of the first one two different items, of the second one three items, and of the last one we chose one item.  The Queen of Stepp, Keren, would bring us the food that we would pick, and we would not know what we were getting.  And two days before the meal we had that time to earn little gold and silver stars.  And we could use those to get other things of food.  The gold stars, we could pick what we wanted from the menu, and the silver stars, Keren, Queen of Stepp, would pick, and we wouldn't know what we were getting.  And of the first course, you would be getting your utensils and your plates.  And Douglas, when he was picking, did not get any plate, and got a giant Bowie knife.  And used it to pierce raisins. 

The Court Jester helping the Knight of Barnacle choose items on the menu.

My Dad, the Court Jester, cooking a piece of steak that he got over a candle, in a candle holder that I made out of clay that I bought. 

My mom, the Minstrel of Stepp, getting more food during the meal.

Douglas, Wizard of Barnacle.  Keren, Queen of Stepp.  Bobby, King of Stepp.  Lena, Queen Mother of Stepp.  Fynn, Knight of Barnacle.  Michael, Court Jester of Stepp. Bethany, Minstrel of Stepp.

These are the cards that we got two nights before the feast.  I sealed them with wax. 

This is the throne, and the crown that me and my mom made is on the back of the throne. 

We strung these on the ceiling for some of the decorations, with giant S's on them for Stepp.  They came from Keren and Bobby's wedding. 

This is a castle made of rice crispies, with chocolate poured over it, that Douglas made for Bobby. 

This is the cake that my mom made with one pound of chocolate in it, and a stencil of powdered sugar on the top.

Bobby, King of Stepp, holding up the card that I made him for his birthday.

Robert, King of Stepp, holding up a cat Mikey that I made of Fimo for his birthday.  Mikey, Bobby's cat, the barfing machine. 

This is Fynn, Knight of Barnacle, and Douglas, Wizard of Barnacle, and our friends, walking to the park with Bobby, King of Stepp.

The Feast is OVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

subscribe via RSS or e-mail

> archive of older posts here <

photos galore, words-a-few ...

bethany

a lot of words spoken lately, though not many written.  many thoughts, many ideas, many late nights (and late mornings).  lots of beauty found, but not much shared, yet ...

today's ice storm provided plenty of choices though ...

and lots of fun ...

shh ... they're actually working together ...

shh ... they're actually working together ...

as did valentines day ...

(I really DO get the best cards)

(I really DO get the best cards)

and the plates were licked clean ...

and the plates were licked clean ...

after a valentine's breakfast, the next 2.5 hours were taken up with the treasure hunt that keren masterminded, and had worked on for several nights in a row.  11 clues, 2 boys, many puzzles, one stumper of a stereogram, the earning of clues by solving rebus word puzzles ...

... and finished up by finding the treasure of coconut chocolate fudge buried in the freezer.  a most welcome treat :).

we've also managed a few outings, to the sun sphere from Knoxville's hosting of the World's Fair in 1982 ...

IMG_20150124_165650_917.jpg

knoxville's art museum ...

I loved this one ...

I loved this one ...

... and multiple visits to the local park. 

we also finished up some stonework.

re-edging the circular drive

re-edging the circular drive

there's been a lot of beauty, despite the frequent thrashing of ideas and plans and desires.  learning to find the fun, no matter what.  finding out what really matters, by digging in the corners of our hearts that we haven't been able to see for all the clutter of life-as-we-knew-it.  it appears that emptying is necessary, before there can be a re-filling ... and the finding of new patterns and new places.  a redefining of who we are, and what we really want, before we move on from here.  very very thankful to have a peaceful, warm, happy home in which to do it.

onward.

subscribe via RSS or e-mail

> archive of older posts here <